I’m a slow learner.

I consider myself to be a slow learner.
I do not think I am autistic, but I have not been formally tested.
I think of myself as diligent and hardworking.

A few examples since my early days:

• In primary school, I could never find my way around the school as quickly as the other kids. I memorised the exact way I was first shown how to get from point A to B, and once I was left alone I would be lost if I were not on that specific route. A teacher once told me to go to the next classroom to pass them a document, and I said no, because I knew I didn’t know how to get there and back. He was furious of course, but then again, he didn’t know my weakness.
• I was always diligent in school, and I played by all the rules. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but being compliant was something I thought would get me far in life.
• I paid close attention to everything the teacher taught and adhered to all the school rules, but I could never understand things fast enough to be really good. 
• However I was never the worst faring kid, I was just always just average. Even in primary school, I could not get full marks for any subject, even though I felt they were “easy”.
• I studied accountancy at a polytechnic, and for the second year there was a student placement. At the end of it, the feedback given to me was that I took a long time to understand and learn things. But once I do, I was just fine. It was the first time someone ever vocalised that to me, but I knew it, of course, I just didn’t know if others noticed.
• My brother often said to me, “How is it possible that you don’t know these things?”. I do not remember exactly the subject on hand, but he was referring to certain common truths I might have noticed, inferred, to understand how things work.
• I’m now 40. I’m finding that people younger than me understand certain life truths quicker than I have. (weak example, but its my gut)
• I’ve had long-term therapy for 3 years now. While I truly believe that my therapist isn’t exactly the best at his job, it takes me a really long time to understand concepts he has introduced. I feel that I could have internalised and understood it faster. Things include how I think most things are my fault, or having really strong but less healthy feelings with my parents. (also another weak example, as it could be him as much as me)
• Things take a long time to “click” when I’m learning something new.
• Later on in life I realised the teaching format of school was not ideal for my learning. No matter how hard I tried, I could never just understand it on demand when taught. This is true for all academic subjects, true from a young age to young adult. It had to be much slower, to the point where I can write them all down, parse it in my head once or twice, before the next sentence is read. Understanding things immediately is never impossible, no matter how good the teacher is. As an adult the way I learn is to write down everything that was said, and to re-read it again. Because I cannot infer well or connect adjacent concepts quickly, I have to make sure there are zero gaps and no questions in my understanding before I move on.
• (My inference skills are particularly poor in movies. Maybe a bit of a tangent from the above, but if I do not see something happen, it did not occur to me that it might. Movies expect you to infer quickly. 1+1=3 as they say.)

It also took me a long time to understand that I am a slow learner, three years ago maximum. I don’t mind working with what I’ve got, after all, what choice do I have?

The real issue comes when in my day, technology changes have caused major shifts in careers. Fast learners and adapters win, in the case of changing careers for example.

I have to choose wisely, because it isn’t quite as easy for me to pick and learn something quickly.

I am just acknowledging what I have.